Anger is possibly the most critical of all negative emotions. Outbursts of anger can cause heart attacks, strokes, bursts blood vessels, migraine, headaches, skin diseases of all kinds. Uncontrolled anger ruins marriages and relationships, destroys the personalities of growing children, loses jobs and careers and causes more unhappiness than any other emotion.
The remarkable things about anger is that it is largely unnecessary. Nothing good ever comes from it. It is purely destructive negative emotion that you can largely eliminate if you decide to.
Anger comes from within you, not from without. It comes from the person you are, not from what people say or do. No one makes you angry. Nothing causes you to feel anger. Anger is the response you choose to a particular situation. You can decide to respond to difficulties in a calm, positive manner or you can decide to respond with anger. You are always free to choose.
Anger is triggered by pain, or by a perception that someone is attacking you, or that you are being taken advantage of. Often anger is caused by frustrated expectations. It is a reaction you have when things don’t work out or when people do not behave the way you expected. Anger can be set off by a fear of loss of some kind. Often you become angry if you feel you are being victimised, or being dealt with unfairly.
In every case, it is your perception that triggers the feeling of anger. It is the way you interpret the event to yourself. When you see yourself as a victim, your natural response will be to become angry. You may even strike back verbally or physically to protect yourself or to get even.
When you perceive that you are a victim of some kind of aggression, it makes your body sick and you suffer from different diseases.
Your entire body prepares for either fight or flight. If you become angry repeatedly, your resistance to anger becomes weaker and weaker. You become angry faster and faster. Eventually you have no resistance left. Anger then becomes your automatic response to any perceived problem in your environment. Some people are angry all the time. Everything and everyone make them angry because of their perception that they are victims and under attack from a hostile world.
(Motivational Speaker and Corporate Trainer)
Shikhar Prajapati is India’s favourite Motivational Speaker and Corporate Trainer who has successfully trained more than 7 lakh people since 2001.
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